You know the hardest thing about being a solitary is when you get stuck between what you are told and what you feel. I used to do my daily devotional not long after my son left for school. I hadn’t showered, I hadn’t ate breakfast, I hadn’t even combed my hair. But I was there because I was ready to commune with my ancestors, nature kin and gods. Daily. But then I read something about miasma and showing up like you were going out with a friend. Showered. Dressed. Nicely even. And so I started to stumble. To worry that my lack of a shower was offensive. That my yoga pants and sweatshirt weren’t good enough. So I started to wait until after I had showered and dressed in clean if not nice clothes. Other daily matters sometimes intruded causing me to bump off the daily devotional. Some days it wouldn’t even get done. I felt bad. I felt guilty. Which made me less likely to do the devotional. Some days it was forced. Some days I wondered if they even noticed or even cared…
Enough. I need to stop worrying so much about the do’s and don’ts of ritual practice. I’m going to go back to doing what feels good, what feels right. I need to be me. A modern female, in modern times. I’m going to ignore that persistently negative voice in the back of my head that says I’m doing it wrong and going to piss someone off. I need to trust in the Kindreds that if I’m doing something offensive, unintentionally, that they will let me know, correct me, teach me. All in an appropriate manner. Not live with the nameless fear of some nameless horrible fate because I didn’t shower before greeting them in the morning. I’m going to take this time to try to remember how to love myself, love my body and love the Kindreds without the anxiety of not being good enough, of not doing well enough, of not being enough. I’m going to find that joy again of starting my day on a positive note, despite what my physical appearance may be. Because I am more than what is seen with the eyes. A little dirt don’t hurt.
And I’m going to post this on both blogs before that annoying voice talks me out of it too.
Add the mix-ins of your choice!
Yield: 12 muffins
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons juice — your choice
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup unsalted butter — melted
1/2 cup sugar — minimum, 3/4 max
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup nuts
1 1/2 cups mixture of nuts, chocolate chips and/or fruit (dried/fresh/frozen)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Use either a well greased muffin tin or use cupcake liners. (I use silicone which I spray with a flour cooking spray)
Beat eggs, milk, juice and vanilla. Slowly pour in butter. Mix in sugar.
Stir in flours, baking powder and salt, until barely combined. Stir in mix-ins. Batter will be thick.
Place in muffin cups. All 12 Cups will be FULL. Bake until they are golden brown and pass the toothpick test, 25-30 minutes.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -
NOTES : I’ve never used frozen fruit in this dish but I would imagine that it would have to be defrosted first. This is a great recipe for using up small quantities of fruit. Adjust the sugar amount for the amount of sweet mix-ins. When I add a banana, I use 1/2 cup.
I was going to save it for next week but figured I ought to post a real post this week, not just an introductory. Wasn’t what I was originally planning for a first post but someone wanted it posted…the idea wouldn’t get out of my head.
I’m pleased (and nervous) to announce that I am officially a blogger for the magazine, Witches & Pagans. It is a god-focused blog (as opposed to goddess-focused) titled “From the Oak: Let’s hear it for the god!”. Many are those that focus on female divinities, leaving male divinities in the shadows if they get mentioned at all. This is a shame. There is where I will share my thoughts, stories and prayers on male divinities.
I’m currently researching topics for next week’s blog. I’m thinking something about moon gods…
I haven’t had much to say of late and for that I apologize.
- the school year is winding down and weather is getting warmer, so I’m spending more time away from the computer.
- I finally finished designing my son’s birth chart and have started to stitch it.
- I have started a god-centric blog (as opposed to goddess) for a Pagan magazine.
- I’ve been working on a fair amount of sewing projects but none are far enough along to be worth taking pictures
- spent Mother’s Day weekend in Denver, enjoying the warmth
- agreed to go on vacation with my parents and my son to Northern California in June, so will be starting to figure out logistics and such for that
- still working on the Dedicant Path for ADF which isn’t progressing as fast as I would like but time and motivation have been lacking
- motivation has been very much lacking but!
- I have been keeping up with my exercise routine…not that the scale shows it at all.
- I started reading Game of Thrones on my Nook…major time suck right there.
- Currently reading the following books to my son:
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
- a book we were given on American Poets
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court
- An Army of Frogs
- I’m supposed to be reading Comparative Mythology for the DP but keep getting tempted by Game of Thrones instead
- Except I’ll have to start it now because I left my Nook in Denver. O.o
- Written a few things but they are for competitions or anthologies so haven’t been able to share them here.
So I’m still alive and not hiding, just haven’t been here…
Back in 2010, I edited a devotional to Zeus for the publishing arm of Neos Alexandria.
The Editor-in-Charge has just recently informed me that “From Cave to Sky” is now available in electronic form for Kindle. Please click HERE for more details.
My son had a bad day. He said he made bad decisions and people hurt his feelings. That he felt like a bad person, a bad student and not special. I told him that he was special to me. I told him that he couldn’t control others, only himself and that tomorrow he has the opportunity to start over, to make better decisions, to be a better person and a better student.
Ran across an Emerson quote on Facebook that I printed out for him and then decided to share with you here as I think it is some wise advice. I kept the back ground plain so that people could print it out on whatever color paper they wished.