Honor Thyself

So I’m putting together an amulet following general instructions on the Whisper in Stone Facebook page.  I couldn’t really decide what I wanted to write on it.  I came up with idea but it felt like there was something else that needed to be done.  So I meditated upon it and then drew a card for Zeus’ tarot deck and a card from my Lady’s tarot deck.  I took the first word that came to mind when I looked at each card and got “Honor Thyself”.  Oh boy.  They are going to make this hard for me, because if I do the amulet I need to do the work too.

I’ve never been one to have a lot of self-confidence or a lot of self-worth.  Sure there are somethings I can do well, but nothing outstanding and nothing that there isn’t someone who could do better.  I’m not particularly pretty or well built.  I can be intelligent on some subjects but there is a lot more that I don’t know than there is that I do.  There is nothing particularly special or nifty about me.  I can easily be replaced in all facets of my life except mother to my son.  Hubby would tell you he thinks I’m irreplaceable but then he couldn’t very well tell me otherwise now could he?  I couldn’t tell you what makes me happy.  I can tell you what I enjoy but makes me happy?  Or are they the same thing?  I’m never sure.

So I did a short quick search for ideas on how to honor myself.  Sheesh there is a lot of crap out there but I found a few good ideas list in order that I found them.  Oh and some quotes that I liked too.

• Follow your bliss.  (I’m assuming this means do what you enjoy.)
• Avoid self-defeat.  Don’t do to yourself what you wouldn’t take from someone else.  (As in I wouldn’t put up with a friend saying to me some of the things that I say to myself.)  Also don’t compare yourself to others for you are unique.  When you start on a self-defeating refrain, repeat a mantra that is positive instead such as:   “I am a work in progress.”; “I am irreplaceable.”;  etc.  If you can’t figure out a mantra draw a card that has mantras included within their meanings such as Osho Zen or any of the cards by Doreen Virtue.
• Open yourself to the positive.  Start your day with a prayer, meditation or affirmation that is positive in tone.  Listen to music in the morning that moves you.
• Honoring thyself has always seemed to me to be a good excuse to be selfish which isn’t a good quality.  One author suggested you look at it as self-ish and then redefine it as what you want it to be.
  • S for Spiritual
  • E for Energetic
  • L for Loving
  • F for Fit
  • I for Important
  • S for Sexy
  • H for Happy
• Start a self-esteem notebook.  Include in it notes to yourself for when you’ve done something well or look particularly good; when someone else has paid you a complement; when you’ve read or seen something that moves you.  This is the notebook you will come back to read when you are having a bad day.
• Pamper yourself often.  This could be painting your toenails, taking a scented bath, listening to music you enjoy; etc.
• On bad days read your SE notebook, socialize, watch or read something that will make you laugh.
• Do a ritual where you honor yourself.
  • Invite your chosen gods into the ceremony
  • State positive things about yourself not only who you are with lots of details but who you want to be.  (Use present tense not future. “I am” not “I want to be”.) Do this while looking into your eyes.  Use a hand mirror big enough to see your whole face.
  • Ask them for help on the days when you are self-defeating instead of self-empowering.  Meditate for any messages they may have.
  • Celebrate this ceremony with something sweet and a gift for yourself that is not only a memento of this honoring ritual but a daily reminder to “Honor Thyself”.
  • A good day to do this might be your birthday.
• Good days are the sunshine that make you grow and glow.  Bad days give you the roots to sport that growth.
• Life is a journey, not a destination.
• “Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
• “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. ”  — Eleanor Roosevelt
• “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
• “You can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your child’s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you’ve become yourself.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

This is important to do for me.  It is also important because I do not want my son to grow up without self-confidence.  I think self-confidence, just like the ability to make friends, is a learned trait.  My parents did not have either trait, neither do I.  I want to be able to learn enough of the former so that I can have an easier time with the latter.  In watching and learning from me, I hope to make my son’s life as an only child a little easier.  I can not live his life for him, I can only try to give him the tools he will need to have a good life.  What he does with them is ultimately up to him.