Pulling a rant out of my craw
You know…something was said to me a while back that has really stuck in my craw. Don’t remember who said it or if it was even more than one person. It wasn’t the who (so I’m not calling anyone out), it was the what. It was something to the effect of “you are always complaining about menopause.” With the meaning of “get over it already” or “this too will pass”. So call this post a “speak your truth” type of post.
Menopause is a perfectly natural state. For some it is a very miserable state and one that is rarely talked about. It is swept under the rug, jeered at, “all in her head” kind of things. The only person I ever heard talk about it was my mother and I looked at her the way that many others look at me now. Surely she is exaggerating, it can’t be that bad. Shame on me. So I talk about it, rant about it, explain and try to share so that others, male and female, realize the challenges. So they are not surprised like I was. Not all have it as bad as I do and some have it worse. And what I go through is not an exaggeration, if nothing else I understate.
So let me cover some personal details. Ignore if you have issues with TMI (my son’s favorite saying of late). My symptoms include weight gain, hot flashes, vaginal (and all the accompanying issues that go with that) and skin dryness (which makes sunblock a big no-no), PMS-like issues and insomnia (which is made worse by hot flashes every 1-2 hours on a bad night. On a good night of sleep I got *4* uninterrupted hours before being woke up). There is also the accompanying memory issues due to that lack of sleep and all the other host of things that happen because you don’t sleep well.
I’ve been dealing with some version of this since I had my son at 35. I’m now 45. The doctors will tell you that delivery cannot cause peri-menopause. Well they can kiss my ass, because I started all the text book symptoms of perimenopause after delivery and they were passed off as recover or post-partum depression. So I’ve done anti-depressants which made me worse. I did all of this as a new, inexperienced mother. Thank the gods for my wonderful patient husband.
I tried several over the counter things. Some worked for a while before my body adjusted then no longer worked. Some made the insomnia worse. So I “gave up” and went on HRT. (and that is exactly how I felt…I had to resort to meds to survive with a quality of life; which also added weight…every fucking thing seems to add on the weight)
HRT has some health risk issues…cancers and other things that I’m too tired to remember at the moment. To minimize that risk, the doc requires you to go on, what I call a maintenance dose, progesterone to force your uterus to cleanse itself, aka have a period. So during that time, I return, with a vengeance, to the pre-HRT days. I’m tired. I cry or rant or laugh at the drop of a hat. I want to hide from the world and then want to know why no one wants me around. It is all confusing, upsetting and stressful. But life doesn’t stop because the body is having fits.
So excuse me if I go overboard. If I share more than you want to hear. I am trying to go about life despite nature’s joke on me. Just remember, you or someone you know will eventually have similar issues.