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Heartspeak

May 9, 2016

I’ve been married to my husband for going on 22 years but we’ve been together for over 26.  Like any relationship, there has been ups and downs, good times and bad.  The backbone of this marriage is my loyal, unflappable husband.  I’ll put the rest of this behind a cut for those of you who are already rolling your eyes, cause I’m going to rave in a random, list fashion about my wonderful husband.

My husband isn’t perfect by any means.  He has no sense of the calendar or of passing time and if flatulence is a sign of good healthy, he is the healthiest person on the planet.  He’s a typical Libra in that flat spaces are always covered in something and his idea of cleaning up his workshop usually means shifting things from one side to the other.  It took me many years of training to get him to leave his shoes somewhere where I won’t trip over them.  He has the scruffiest beard of any Frenchman but won’t part with it either out of laziness or ’cause he actually likes the thing.  He likes his beer way more than is healthy, tends to procrastinate way more than I than I like, can be painfully honest and a workaholic.  He works so hard building wonderful homes for others, that ours tends to look rather run down.  He doesn’t like to read or even watch movies very much and the state of his clothes is rather unimportant. But the purpose of this post isn’t to rag on him.  It is so that I can tell you how wonderful he is despite his faults as I’m pretty sure mine are more numerous than his.

He is one of the most generous and hard working people that I’ve ever met.  He believes in living life now and not putting it off for the future.  He’s always willing to lend a hand, either physically or financially to others whether it inconveniences us or not.  But he isn’t a fool and doesn’t often give unwisely.  If you fail him, he will remember.  He had me get my eyes lasered because of the long term benefits at a time when it was really out of our budget.  He works long hours at a job he loves, often not charging what he is worth because of his own set of principles.  He is conscientious, has always done what needed to be done and done it with an admirable attitude.  He never takes shortcuts and the only clients that don’t like him are the ones that are not honest themselves.   He is a generous tipper and if someone doesn’t get a tip, they’ve something seriously wrong.  He’s never faulted me on my purchases whether frivolous or not.

He has always, from the moment we met, been the most supportive person I’ve ever had in my life.  If it wasn’t for his help (emotionally, physically, intellectually, and financially), I would have never made it through college.  When a job has stressed me to the point of making me sick, it is he who pushes me to quit saying that we would make it work.  He’s always been more willing to take leaps of faith, or encourage me to do so, than I am.  When we thought that children were not in the cards for us, he happily started planning life without them despite his love of children, never once making me feel deficient.  When I was a housewife, he never discounted my non-monetary contributions. When we got involved in a poly relationship, he rode that roller coaster ride with me to its conclusion and repeatedly cleaned up the mess that I became when it ended.  He has never faulted my continual love for my ex or that I still miss him.  He’s always helped me with my physical difficulties whether it is my shoulders, my recent stomach issues which require so much managment or during pregnancy and done so without complaint.  When I couldn’t cook during the early stages of my pregnancy, he took over cooking and still does the majority of it to this day, even to the point that he unconsciously gently bumps me out of the way and takes over if I start something (and still helps with dishes).  After our child was born, it was his support and encouragement that kept me trying to breastfeed as due to difficulties I was ready to give up more than once.  He isn’t one to give out compliments or notice much about one’s appearance but is always there to be my shoulder to cry upon or give me an honest point of view.  He started going with me to Pagan events not out of interest but because I was interested.  Eventually he made friends and now is on staff for a Pagan retreat and has been for many years.  Even though he prefers me in long hair, he has never complained or been insulting when I’ve cut it off.  He has always been supportive of my crafting and never once complainted about all the craft supplies or unfinished projects.

He is so loving and willing to demonstrate that love.  While not a cuddler, he has never shied away from public displays of affection.  He’s always been willing to say those important 3 little words and sometimes repeatedly in a short period of time.  He’s a wonderful father, typically not as temperamental as I am and is also affectionate with our child.  He has always helped with diapers and child care without complaint, especially when I started working two evenings a week.  He is a better pet owner than I am and hangs on long past the point when I think they should be euthanized.  I think he gives our cats as much affection as he does our child.  He opens doors, occasionally helps me into our truck and has better manners than I do.

He has a great sense of humor and has always made me laugh especially during those times when I needed it most.  He is very intelligent and is so not like the redneck that he appears to be and can imitate with accuracy.  Oh the debates we have gotten into…like the time we debated for hours over the meaning of a single word.  He is very patient and it takes a long for him to lose his temper and even then he rarely yells and is never vicious.  He taught me to drive a stickshift…by having me drive a brand new vehicle one hundred miles…in the mountains, never once getting upset.  I have even known him to pick out my stitching when I’ve threatened to throw a large project away because of a major error.  He is always willing to try something new or meet new people.  He believes me when I tell him something and never faults (or rants at) me when something breaks down or when I’ve erred.  He rolls with life’s ups and downs much better than I do.

After all these years, he still surprises me from time to time.  Last night after taking me out to lunch for Mother’s Day and then allowing me to wander a plant nursery for hours, he apologized for forgetting to stop and get me flowers on his way home after an emergency call from a client.  I was so surprised, I just blinked at him.

This just gives you a very tiny glimpse of what a wonderful man my husband is and why I think of myself as very lucky to have him in my life.  I definitely think I got the better part of the bargain.

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 10, 2016 4:11 AM

    what a lovely, lovely tribute to your lovely mate.
    khairete
    suz

    Like

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