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Feather Files: words are cheap

September 17, 2015

Words are cheap.  It is by your actions that you are known.  This applies to so many areas of my life right now.

I have stumbled in verbally explaining to my husband why special days require a bit more effort than “happy xyz“.  So let me see if I can do it here.  Words are easy said, rarely requiring any meaningful effort.  It is one’s actions that prove what you say.  It isn’t the gift that is important but the effort taken to choose the gift.  The size and the expense do not matter, it is that you thought of me when I was not in front of you and tried to find that item/meal/whatever that would make me smile in delight.

My son keeps lying and when caught he says “I’m sorry.” I keep telling him that if he was sorry he wouldn’t be doing the same thing over and over.  If he was truly sorry he’d make a different and better choice.  Talk is cheap, show me you are sorry by making better choices.

Spiritually, I need to take this saying to heart.  Being solitary, I find it difficult to keep any religious practice going other than prayers before bed.  I call out to my lady whenever I worry or want to honor her or share something but is that enough?  Or is it just words?  I don’t know but if talk is cheap than I certainly am not doing enough.  Yet I continually flounder on finding that practice that is something more than words, that doesn’t seem false or forced.  I try to walk in honor when dealing with family and friends but I’m stingier than I should be with constant fears of not having enough of whatever to last.  I do not deny my gods but sometimes error on the side of prudence, sometimes staying silent, sometimes deflecting.  Is that walking my talk? I do not know but I’m afraid it may not be.  Physical offerings are difficult for me as I can’t get past the feeling that I’m wasting corporeal things on non-corporeal beings.  I hear my mother, my grandmother whispering “waste not, want not”. Yet is not doing so mean my belief is mere words?  That isn’t what I mean or what I feel but that is what I show.  How can I lecture my son, my husband when I fail too…

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 17, 2015 5:24 PM

    i remember zoe saying (back in the days when she was still speaking to me) that devotion shouldn’t mean ‘give until it hurts.’ so your frugality is a positive thing, methinks.
    but i don’t feel that offerings are wasted, although good people DO differ on that. i heard my brothers muttering to each other when i was headed out with offerings one evening that surely i should just give the crap that was going over in my fridge, not the ‘good’ stuff, since gods don’t actually eat. but for me that would be like giving a dear friend or family member my crappy stuff. unless it’s a theoxenia i don’t put tons on an offering plate, but i do try to put something nice there. i don’t think the gods need it, but what they give me is tangible and measurable, and i’m a simple gal, so that’s what i give back. (there are times when i DO offer the crap going over in my fridge, but that’s a different subject.)
    i think when you’re overwhelmed and fighting a valiant battle against some depression, it’s much much harder to put in more than an occasional exhausted prayer. i get it. i do hope you can find time to do an occasional- just now and then!- deeper ritual, not because you’re ‘failing’ (you’re not- the Work you do on Their behalf is also real and tangible- BA, hello!!) but because i think it will deepen your connection to Them, and make you more open to Their help and guidance and encouragement when you’re fighting in the darkness.
    i also differed cheerfully but loudly with an AE friend of mine. she was HORRIFIED that i would eat any of the food consecrated to the gods, and i was HORRIFIED that she didn’t share in the sacrament.
    😀 khairete
    suz

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    • September 17, 2015 9:32 PM

      Thanks suz! The Egyptians would share in the offerings, I tend to forget that as my early training taught otherwise.

      I don’t do much for BA other than act as secretary and moderate groups but I appreciate you saying so. Rebecca is the one that puts in the hard work. If it wasn’t for her, BA would fall apart.

      Like

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