Daily Happenings: 4/5 – 4/11
Just a reminder…my journal blogs are mostly for me and the few people that truly want to know what I do on a daily basis. Read or ignore as you please. Still trying to find a steady rhythm on my daily devotional (DD) practice. Right now I do a little something as it strikes me, no formal ritual. Also been doing short meditations in the evenings occasionally. Prayers, as always, before bed unless I’m ill. Warning: may contain rants…rants by definition are not based on logic and are solely for the purpose of clearing headspace so that I can address things in a more positive fashion.
BTW…I HATE the “improved posting experience” format for creating blogs. HATE IT! #WORDPRESS give me back the “Classic” view!
4/5: Slept a bit better last night. Woke up with only one side of my neck bothering me. Everything else mellowed out enough that I was able to figure out that the pain is caused by a knot under the shoulder blade. Easter. My mom wanted me to come over but with Hubby working today, I wasn’t up for a family dinner, even a small one. I spent the day enjoying the weather, reading and running errands with my hearysister. Then loaded up boychild and dog, then headed for home. Watched Agent Carter. Ate dinner. Boychild showered. Finished off the Agent Carter episodes then tucked the boychild in. Had a pretty good time with him, very few issues and all of those were minor. Cough suppressant. It was nice. Hubby home after 10:30.
4/6: rough night of coughing and brain gerbils. So tired. Went back to bed after taking an allergy pill and slept a little. Not a lot of energy. More medical billing work. Work. Lunch. Work. Tired and coughing. Kudos to Hubby, he washed the bedding today. No medication that I take helps for long. Getting desperate. Hair was definitely burned by the “stylist” this weekend. I have a cloud of burnt hair smell that surrounds me. Pretty pissed about it. Wondering if I’ll end up having to cut my longer than shoulder length hair into a boy’s cut…
4/7: tired and coughing still. Have a call into the salon’s manager. Waiting on a return call. Trying out some turmeric tea. Laundry. Manager called, was apologetic. I have a free appointment to see one of their specialists on Saturday. Been dropping a little bit of weight since this whole shibang started…mostly because food doesn’t taste good and so I haven’t been eating my normal amounts…between that and GI issues, I’m lighter than I’ve been in about 8 years. Work…where I was dragging ass. Trying a different set of meds to sleep. Love trial and error. NOT.
4/8: Took a 2nd dose at 3am and was woken up by the boychild sometime after 6 yelling that he was gonna puke. Long story short, he barely ate his lunch yesterday, may not have ate enough dinner so his body was pissed at him. If he had done what I wanted him to do, he would have been able to go to school. Instead he argued, I did what he wanted and it made him pukey and miserable. Nothing like learning the hard way. So he’s home…once he did what I told him to do, his tummy settled down. So…no toys. Books, school work and chores only. As for me I slept better but still draggin’. Some of it is a fuel issue…nothing sounds or tastes good, so eating is a chore. Some of it is drug hangover. Not coughing as hard today either, so no drugs. Laundry. So. Damn. Tired. Work. Home. Bed.
4/9: rough night…bed at 9, hacking up a lung by 11…made some homemade cough syrup but was still awake every 2 hours to take it. Boychild dressed as a preppy for retro day. Neti rinse, which helped some. My body is at war, sometimes I’m sneezing as I’m coughing and yes it is painful. Overdue blog post written. More research. Finishing Laundry. Running afterschool club today, as my coworker is out of town. Getting help from another librarian but it is my show. Doing “Draw a bird day”. A bit nervous. A bit excited. Boychild said it was a bit boring but one one else complained. It involved art which is not his favorite. Kids really liked doing the Zentangle. Helped boychild with homework. Craft night. Started coughing hard not long after dinner. Guess another Neti rinse to hopefully get me through the night…and more homemade cough syrup.
4/10: another rough night. Neti pot not helpful this time. I’m exhausted. What a choice, exhausted or nonfunctioning grogginess. Fuck they are the same. Boychild to school for Hawaiian shirt day. He loves the shirt we got him last weekend. I went back to bed. Emailed my doc telling her what I’ve tried, her PA answered…my least favorite person in the office…suggesting one of the things on the list that I already tried. It was her only suggestion other than coming in and getting a prescription. So frustrating. Put away laundry which feels like a HUGE accomplishment which needs to be followed up by packing. Rapidly developing a shitty attitude. Days where I blog about everything I do are to help keep me moving forward, see progress and not bother anyone else with my issues which while large for me are small potatoes for everyone else. Here is where I whine in hopes of not dumping so much on others. Talking to myself out loud so I get things done…one of the signs of craziness I think. Made through my shower and pity party. Balanced checkbook. Picked up boychild. Headed to Denver as soon as Hubby got home. After dinner, boychild to bed and then to my heartsister’s to “help” her get ready for the party tomorrow. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I went back to the house, then to bed.
4/11: Slept better, not great, but I’ll take it. Still feel like crap. Hair appointment where they said my hair wasn’t showing much damage and to not worry about it. Suggested use of smoothing serum. Over to heartsister’s to help out. Took the boychild to dinner…melt down. Dropped him off at the house and left it in Grammy’s hands ’cause I was tired of arguing. Back to heartsister’s where they had a fire going. Got whapped with a clue-by-four…the answer to my pity party was a message about trust…myself, them, my son, his guides, etc. To stop stressing about the whole process. Mostly a relief but honestly, I don’t know how to let go of the idea that I’m failing/flailing. Back to try and sleep and didn’t until Hubby crawled into bed. He pulled me on to his chest for a snuggle (which is true love ’cause I’m still hacking up bits of lung continually) and I finally fell asleep.