Daily Happenings: 11/30 – 12/6
Just a reminder…my journal blogs are mostly for me and the few people that truly want to know what I do on a daily basis. Read or ignore as you please. Been trying to greet my main shrines twice a day when home but usually only get it done in the evenings…stress has taken a toll and if I can’t approach the shrines with a grateful heart, I don’t want to approach at all… and say prayers before bed. Warning: may contain rants…rants by definition are not based on logic and are solely for the purpose of clearing headspace so that I can address things in a more positive fashion.
11/30: Slept in. Listened to PTX holiday tunes with the boychild. Trimmed (literally) the tree a little. Informed the boychild that I don’t know if I’ll be able to swing toys for him this year…that way whatever I DO come up with (and it won’t be much) will be a wonderful surprise. My theme today is don’t panic and don’t cry. Not sure I’m going to pull it off on either one. First year that I can think of that I wish the holidays were over and we were taking DOWN the tree instead of putting it up. Hubby put the lights on the tree with the help/hinderance of the boychild. Mid-afternoon he decides we need to go put up the outdoor decorations…boychild, as he was all weekend, was little to no help and full of attitude. Dinner made early so that we can watch the game. Boychild to bed at half time. Stitching on coworker ornament, getting close to finishing. Broncos won. Turkey salad made for lunches. Remaining turkey meat, not as much as I would have expected, sliced and placed in the freezer. Hubby goes on a rant tonight about how if he sees one more meme about how well the economy is doing when he and all the subcontractors he knows are struggling, he’s gonna lose it. When I ask him to stop, he does a 180 and tells me that we will be fine, money will be there for Yule not to stress so much about it. Can’t have it both ways my dear.
12/1: Rough getting up early after 5 days of being able to sleep in…boychild to school. Designed a polar fleece knight helmet for the boychild…I hope it fits and he likes it…can’t attach the face piece until I try it on him. Work. Lunch. Call sister to wish her happy birthday. Work. Tired. Read a book any way…long time since I’ve done that. Too long. Thoughts turn to my heart-sister and her hubby. Blessings on them both and on his medical team.
12/2: oh yeah…now I remember why I don’t read and go to bed…didn’t sleep a wink. Candle lit for my friends…may the surgery go smoothly and the healing go swiftly. Blog for Cupid posted. Laundry. Work. Tiredtiredtired. Bit of a sore throat…I think a lot of my issues with this of late have been because of allergies…which is odd too. Dinner. So hate being so far from our friends…can’t be there when they need us…even if it is only to hold a hand or kick down a door. I feel inadequate and at a loss to help…if someone told me to “ground and breath” I’d lose my cookies… DWTS semi-finals.
12/3: slept better. Got to find the boychild had been up for a while already. He was dressed, fed the animals and had his lunch and breakfast laid out and ready to go. Mind boggles. Since he was ready 30 minutes before he had to go, I read him a chapter of Harry Potter. Eye is slightly swollen today. I think I’m gonna have to replace ALL my eye make up with hypo-allergenic stuff. Detail work on the boychild’s gift. Finished the ornament for the co-worker. Laundry…wondering what I need to do to get my son to change his socks and underwear once a day… Gave the excess tree limbs to an acquaintance who is going to use them to decorate her tiny rental house since she doesn’t have room for a tree. Glad I posted them! Picked up the boychild, became unreasonable when I walked in to see his stuff all over the floor and couldn’t find some of his stuff. Realized why I get so angry. We work hard to provide the best we can for him and he treats everything so carelessly (like nothing is good enough or is disposable or trashy or something similar it seems) that I end up feeling insulted. Is it about me? No. Is it unusual for a child his age to do this? No. But it doesn’t change how I feel or how tired I get of trying to track down his stuff. Work. Sewed up a small gift for the boychild then fed the crystal lights into the large jar which I’ll add some decorative bits to for my parents’ gift.
12/4: Boychild was ready for school early, so we decorated the tree a bit. Shows you how NOT in the spirit I am that the tree has been up since Saturday and lights put on Sunday, yet the tree isn’t decorated yet. Laundry. Co-worker stitching turned into an ornament. Parents’ gift/decoration finished despite struggles with a light strand that left me wanting to throw things across the room. Garlic-artichoke hummus made for work party. Package assembled and card made. Boychild’s ornament kitted up. Boychild picked up, helped with his homework. Stress is ruling…hoarding my money so that I can get some toys for the boychild means…figuring out what’s for dinner is getting harder. Hubby goes hunting this weekend so that (hopefully) means will have meat in the freezer at least…’cause that’s looking pretty barren too. We are not used to this…we are used to having a well stocked freezer and pantry but the money just hasn’t been there to get stocked up…for a year now. Hormones are really making a mess of my emotions…about everything I read or watch on FB makes me want to cry. The fact that I have no gifts for Hubby or ideas and the knowledge that I probably won’t have any gifts under the tree doesn’t help. There is always the possibility that Hubby will pull a rabbit out of his hat but 2 weeks to Solstice…I don’t see him pulling it off. Love the man but when it comes to gifts, if it is gonna require some effort and forethought, it isn’t going to happen. I’m a child at heart…I love gifts, getting and giving ’em. Sigh. Came up with the dinner idea and got it started before I went to craft night where I was gifted with some lace and doilies from a grandmotherly woman who said they came from her grandmother. I tried to talk her out of giving them to me but she insisted. Finished bestie’s gift so I can be sure she’ll get have her gift in time for solstice. Just wish I could have filled it too. Before I can finish up my sister’s bag, I need some help getting the motifs apart without causing them to unravel. I did remind my husband that Solstice is 2 weeks away…and got yelled at…yet if I hadn’t I’d been told “I wish you would have told me…” Can’t win.
12/5: Boychild up early again. It is rather nice to have him ready so early. Got most of the ornaments on the tree. Need to add the icicles and I think it will be done. Need to motivate and be productive this morning and I have no desire to do so. Laundry put away. Work party where I got lucky enough to have a friend draw my name for the gift exchange…she got me a decorated skeleton and a peacock wreath! Packing and wrapping. Boychild picked up, headed to Denver while finishing Prince Caspian.
12/6: Trying to pull myself together to get things done today after a long night of not a lot of sleep. Shopping. Lunch with a terrific friend who helped put something in perspective. Met up with my mom, shopped a while then went our separate ways, I continued to shop. Picked up the boychild, went and saw heartsister and hubby at hospital. His knees are doing well be he is having some other issues, probably related to drug issues. Ended up whining, which was NOT my intention but she has a way of getting me to talk before I realize what I’m doing. Dinner and “Nightmare before Christmas” with the boychild. Tuck him into bed and then go do more shopping. Tired but the boychild is covered. Hubby…not so much. Sigh.