Daily Happenings: 10/12 – 10/18
Just a reminder…my journal blogs are mostly for me and the few people that truly want to know what I do on a daily basis. Read or ignore as you please. Unless otherwise stated, I greet my main shrines twice a day when home and say prayers before bed. Warning: may contain rants…rants by definition are not based on logic and are solely for the purpose of clearing headspace so that I can address things in a more positive fashion.
10/12: Slept in. Talked a bit with Hubby on how I have been feeling and how our ability to communicate has gotten really bad since last winter. Hubby continued with his baking for his hunting trip. We got to eat some of it for breakfast while we watched the early Broncos game. Those refs were more than a tad prejudicial in their playing calling…to the point that when they did penalize the other team, we were shocked. Bills paid. Rest of the interior Halloween decorations, such as they are, are up. Helped the boychild with his reading aloud. Dinner was Hubby’s homemade spaghetti (hunting trip item) and fresh baked bread with garlic butter. Tried again to find something that makes me think of Isis for her altar. Find a lot of neat stuff but nothing that reminds me of her. Had a revelation…a non-polytheistic one…or maybe a non-HARD polytheistic. I’ve been a bit puzzled by the connection I feel between Zeus and Isis. Both from the Greek mythology and from the Egyptian. Saw a picture of a green Osiris and the phrase greenman came to mind. I connect Zeus with the archetypal greenman…hence the one I’m painting for the house… Nebulous association but it feels right. Neglected the altars again this morning. I think I need to change them up, to freshen their energies, tailor them more or something that will inspire me more.
10/13: Day off…it is kind of nice that both the boychild and Hubby had school/work. I’ve got the house to myself. I think I’m going to watch a movie or two and maybe paint the greenman some more. Lit incense during the morning ritual in honor of my Native American ancestors. Watched “Edge of Tomorrow” which was a damn good movie…surprisingly. Feeling guilty about not doing anything practical/productive with my day though. Looked at doing a second movie but don’t have enough time before needing to pick up the boychild. Witchy act of the day…collect snow from our first measurable snowfall. Filtered it and added it to the jar of water that I use for particular rituals. Something I started doing when I gave ADF a whirl. More paint on the greenman. Pictures make it look nicer than it is. Should go quicker now that I got all the veins on the leaves painted. Went to pick up the boychild…forgot about art club. As I was leaving one of his teachers who is also an acquaintance gave me a small tupperware container whose lid is attached. I’ve done so much complaining about the stuff the boychild looses from his lunch box, she contributed it to the “cause”. I laughed. Part of me is embarrassed. Part of me sees the humor. Most of me thinks that this isn’t going to help the child learn to keep track of his stuff if someone steps up to “fix” it for him. Helped boychild with his homework without loosing my temper despite the temptation. Magazine read. Tried a new recipe for dinner…needs some work but a good start. Research and new blog written for From the Oak.
10/14: Got to work today. I like my job but I really do miss being nothing other than a simply housewife who controls her own schedule…like whether I shower or even get dressed. Wrap fleece tutorial blog as the original post on someone else’s blog has disappeared. Forced myself to do at least 20 minutes of cardio workout. Ugh. Work…with a few issues. There are days when being a housewife again sounds better and better. Hubby is loading up for his hunting trip…it always makes me feel a little blue…he is gleefully loading up and I resent a little bit being left behind to hold down the home front and being the adult. Even going to Denver doesn’t thrill me. Between stresses over my truck, irritation with my parents and money worries I have no desire to make the trip down…been invited to a couple of gatherings but except for one (yes yours AG-S) I have no desire goto by myself…not to mention with my bestie being gone hunting too…I’m feeling a bit left out. Realistically, I have no desire to go hunting but I will miss the companionship, physical and virtual…I can only hope things go smoother between the boychild and me or it is going to be a really fucking long 10 days. Part of my issue is that if I have a problem, (mechanical, plumbing, etc) all the people I would call on for help will be with Hubby hunting. It is like my whole support network is going on vacation. Ok taking my maudlin self to bed now. I am an adult. I can do this. If I say this enough times maybe the desire to laugh maniacally will go away… Exercises earlier today really pissed off my neck muscles… I’m aware that some of my emotional issues are hormonally caused. That doesn’t fix them but it does mean that eventually I’ll settle back down…I hope.
10/15: Slept very badly. Yay for stress induced hormonal issues. Pthhhhhhpt. Offered to review a friend’s unedited book. Very good so far but his grammar is atrocious. Having a hard time not sending him edits. Not very motivated. Full of I don’t give a fucks today. Reading Smithsonian during lunch, I found that the modern generation of the Von Trapps (think Sound of Music…those Von Trapps) have a CD out. Wasted some time hunting their songs down. Only recent work that I liked was Thunder a collaboration with the Chieftains. Grocery store. Work. Nothing like someone else’s memory problems causing me trouble. I am completely and unreasonable upset about this.
10/16: Tired today. Glad I don’t have to work. Stressed. Finished painting my greenman thanks to helpful suggestions from my talented best friend. Laundry. Finalized the sweet potato brownie in a mug recipe and posted it. Picked up the boychild, took him to after school club at the library. Am totally fed up with my son, his attitude and poor decisions. I resent being stuck with him while Hubby goes and has fun for 10 days. I had a total tearfest. Decided not to go to craft night because I’m frustrated and all I will do is bitch about my son, work and my husband. Tried to spend time with Hubby as he finished getting ready…something he’s been doing every single night this week. I gave up as he was all over the place and generally I was just in the way.
10/17: Slept better but emotionally wore out. This has not been fun week. Hubby has left for his hunting trip. Bestie sent the sweatshirt that she replaced the zipper in for the boychild. I think I found the Isis print for next to her shrine. Wasted my day away. I couldn’t tell you what I did other than try not to think about anything. Walked to go pick up the boychild, meeting up with a friend half way. I get to school to find that my son didn’t eat his lunch for the 3rd time this week. Too busy talking and playing around. He’s missing most of his school supplies and several lunch containers because he can’t/won’t keep track of or take care of anything. I get angry. I talk to one of the women who monitors lunch periods then march him home instead of going to one of the playgrounds to play…my heart breaking because I don’t know how to convince this child that he’s got to take care of his body, his stuff because we are not made of money. I want to have fun with him. I want to be silly with him. Instead I’m stuck being the parent. Evening was good and bad by turns with him. Planning a craft. Watched a little tv. One of the things I miss when Hubby is gone is him tucking me into bed…on the other hand, not being woke up by his snoring is a plus.
10/18: Boychild woke me up this morning. Not a good way to start out the day. Breakfast of frozen sweet potato pancakes. Spent the afternoon shopping for cold weather shoes and boots for him, costume bits for him, birthday gift for Hubby, mascara for me and trying to find something for the craft project I want to get done. Finished up our audio book. Had bagels with cream cheese mid way through our shopping for a snack. Boychild was fairly well behaved. Came home and made homemade macaroni and cheese. Read him a chapter of HP4. Hubby called. Lots of walking but no animals seen. After the boychild went to bed, I worked on some crafts.