I’ve been stewing a lot of late over the appropriateness of ranting here, why I do it and why I am dismayed at the prospect of not being able to do so any longer (because it has come back to bite me on the ass).
I read something that made me realize why I like to use this platform as the main place for my rants. If I rant to a person or group, they feel like they have to respond in some fashion whether it is with sympathy, lectures or what not. Ranting here means no one is forced to respond unless they feel called to do so and rarely does that happen. So I can dump, have it “witnessed” only if the reader chooses by putting the rant behind a cut. This way I do not end up feeling like I’ve cornered someone and dumped my negative output on them. That always results in my inner bully ragging at me. Here it is a shovel, dump and move on. I could keep all the rants private but that would mean not getting a viewpoint that may be necessary for appropriate action on my part.
A rant generally means that I’ve got an emotional investment in a situation that is preventing me from acting appropriately. The purpose of the rant is to remove that emotional energy (as often as necessary) until that well is dry so that I can act appropriately. I would like those that are the subject of my rants to realize that it is better I do that here than say it loudly and probably rudely to their face. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t need to rant.
I come from a family where shouting, foul language, etc is the typically beginning of arguments where the air is cleared of emotion (this includes more often than not, tears) so that progress can be made. My husband’s family isn’t like that and so ranting here has become my safety valve so that I can participate in a way that is productive for them. Which way is better? I like to think my family’s way because things are dealt with fairly immediately. The other method allows things to build or be put off for long periods of time until someone comes unglued. Then the receiver of the explosion is confused/hurt/upset because xyz has been happening for a long time… However this method does occasionally allow for things to resolve “naturally” but that doesn’t always mean for the better. Shrug. I’ve been with my husband long enough (24 years), that I’ve picked up some of those habits, so I float between the two methods. Ranting here helps keep me from yelling and screaming in the faces of others that would cause them to shut down.
Sigh. That is my thoughts any way.