What do I do now?
I recently heard the time from November to Solstice described as the “in between time” (IBT). It fits I think. If All Hallows is the end of the year and Solstice is about new beginnings then during the IBT one should reassess and give thanks. Since I’ve left ADF and even before I think, I’ve been at odds with my religious practice. Not with the Gods, the ancestors or the naturekin but just the practice. I’m filled with “I don’t wanna” so other than a few devotional acts (NOT rituals) here and there I’ve done little other my prayers before bed. And I’ve felt guilty about it. So being that today is the start of IBT, I thought I’d pull out my dream deck and ask my soldier what I should be doing. I combined Jackass Spread with IC Druidic Layout. I went super indepth with my assessment as I wanted to maximize the amount of information I got out of this important reading.
- This is you, the Jackass: 2 of Pentacles – scrambling to do everything that is “needed”.
- This is the dumb shit you’ve gotten yourself into: Chariot – fighting to organize so that I can move in the “proper” direction
- This is what got your fool-ass here: Emperor – buying into the “shoulds”
- The most likely solution: 9 of Pentacles – be the individual; craft your own route; find your enjoyment/satisfaction in life and spiritual practice.
- This is the dumb shit you are tempted to do: Magician – be everything to everyone/thing
- This is the ass whupping you will get because of it: 8 of Pentacles – a lot of drudgery
- Now if you are ready to pull your head out of your ass…do this instead: Queen of Wands – trust your internal navigator; move forward with confidence
- Nature of the question (same as #7 above)
- underlying factors: 2 of Cups – wanting fellowship
- What/who will help: 7 of Pentacles – your willingness to assess and make changes as needed
- Ancestors say: Page of Swords – question everything
- Gods say: Justice – be objective
- Naturekin say: 2 of Wands – make bold choices; do what makes you feel connected
- Past: Page of Pentacles – student
- Present: World – ready to move on
- Future: 3 of Pentacles – full of potential; ingegrate logic, spirit and creativity
- Sacrfice: 3 of Cups – fellowship
- Blessings: 9 of S – take each worry or doubt, assess it and do what is right for you for no other mortal has the right to tell you otherwise
- Advice: 10 of Wands – take your past and move forward with confidence in your ability to carry the responsibility to do what is best
Q = 105 = 6 = Lovers – make decisions that bring you joy, that make your heart leap
Interestingly enough the base card was lovers too.
Majors = 6 cards
Pentacles = 6 cards
Wands = 4 cards
Swords and Cups both have 2
Milestone; manifest spirit into the physical
Numerically, 1,2 and 3 reoccurred often. The message I take from this is that “balanced choices nurtures self”.
So what makes me happy? Being creative. Making things, decorating things, writing, reading, sharing my writing and reading, listening to the stories of others, helping others find their story…that is why working in the library brings me such joy.
Rituals for the most part don’t make me happy. Rituals are like formal dinners to me. There is a place for them from time to time but are mostly pointless when you are solitary. Until I can find joy in them again, I will not do them as the joylessness pretty much makes them a moot point. I like the informal sit-down meals, those that happen by chance, those where heart to heart conversations can happen without the stiffness or political politeness.
From time to time, I will do blog posts about some “should” that has got me bogged down. Input from others would be most appreciated in helping work through the mire but I will ultimately make the decision that works best for me and my situation. With. no. guilt. I will be the mountain witch open to change but confident in my path.