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Wisdom of Anita Blake: Circus of the Damn Edition

April 10, 2013

So I’m in the middle of a nasty bout of insomnia.  I’m lucky if I’m getting a couple of hours a night.  So one of the things I’m doing is rereading the Anita Blake Series by Laurell Hamilton.  I’m also writing down her (Ms. Hamilton’s though Anita is generally the one who says them)  pithy sayings as I go, something I’ve threatened to do for years.  So here you go.  The third installment:

Wisdom of Anita Blake (and Company):  Circus of the Damn Edition

  • “If you spend a lot of time staring at corpses, you get a peculiar sense of humor.  You have to, or you will go stark raving mad.”
  • “Letting a fuzzball boss you around was not my idea of dog ownership.  If I ever had another dog, I’d be boss or one of us wouldn’t survive.  It was the principle of the thing.”
  • “Guilt is a wonderful motivator.”
  • “A crowd is an elemental thing.  A word, a glance, and a crowd becomes a mob.  A different being entirely from a group.”
  • “Dancing was originally an invocation to some god or other; most people forget that.”
  • “It takes a long time to choke someone into unconsciousness.  The movies make it look easy, quick, clean.  It isn’t easy, it isn’t quick and it sure as hell isn’t clean.”
  • “A burn is a bitch.  Inch for inch, a burn hurts worse than any other injury.”
  • “My soul is not up for grabs for anybody’s life.”
  • “Guilt is a many splendored thing.”
  • “Never taking a chance is the worst failure of all.”
  • “A good burn will take your mind off everything else.”
  • “I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.”
  • “Violent death is the ultimate invasion…photographed, videotaped, measured, cut open, sewn back up.  No part…inside or out, would be left untouched.”
  • “There is an art to holding a penlight in your mouth…without drooling on yourself…The secret was sucking on the end of the flashlight from time to time.”
  • “…women have more chemicals in their tear ducts.  It makes us tear up easier than men.”
  • “Have you ever tried to aim a gun while throwing your guts up?  It’s damn near impossible.  You’re helpless until you’re finished.”
  • “Always err on the side of caution when it comes to firearms.  Words to survive by.”
  • “Being brave doesn’t save you from the monsters.  It just ups your chances.”
  • “He had this old southern idea of what a lady should be…I had two words for that attitude…Fuck you.”
  • “Small wounds alwaysfelt worse than bigs ones…at first.”
  • “I was sure that we understood each other but, being female, I had to verbalize it.  Men do a lot of this mind-reading shit, but sometimes you’re wrong.”
  • “But there are some things you can’t tell someone.  He, or she, has to learn some things in person.”
  • “Some people have a real talent for being condescending.”
  • “…once you’ve seen violence, you’re never the same again.  The first time you have to decide, live or die, us or them, it changes you forever.  No going back.”
  • “Never give anyone to the monsters; it’s a rule.”
  • “You can’t hit shit when you’re running.”
  • “There are some things that are more important than physical survival.  You gotta be able to look at yourself in the mirror…Good guys were self-sacrificing.  It was a rule somewhere.”
  • “When all else fails, hide.  It works for rabbits.”
  • “I remembered twenty.   I’d known everything at twenty.  It took me another year to realize I knew nothing.  I was still hoping to learn something before I hit thirty, but I wasn’t holding my breath.”
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