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Wisdom of Anita Blake – The Laughing Corpse edition

April 9, 2013

So I’m in the middle of a nasty bout of insomnia.  I’m lucky if I’m getting a couple of hours a night.  So one of the things I’m doing is rereading the Anita Blake Series by Laurell Hamilton.  I’m also writing down her (Ms. Hamilton’s though Anita is generally the one who says them)  pithy sayings as I go, something I’ve threatened to do for years.  So here you go.  The second installment of

Wisdom of Anita Blake (and Company):  the Laughing Corpse edition

  • “Women may get to wear lots of pretty colors, but men get the comfortable shoes.”
  •  “A murder scene was like a bee swarm, full of frenzied movement and damn crowded.”
  • “…he was an amateur.  Amateurs with guns eventually get themselves killed.”
  • “Rule number three hundred sixty-nine when dealing with unfamiliar magic:  when in doubt leave it alone.”
  • “I didn’t see why death should automatically grant him sainthood.  Death, especially violent death, will turn the meanest bastard in the world into a nice guy.  Why is that?”
  • “Truth is always stranger than fiction.”
  • “My purse, like all purses, seems to have a traveling black hole in it.”
  • “…if you need more than thirteen bullets, it’s over.”
  • “…she and I were the only women here, and we had to be better than the men.  Braver, quicker, whatever.  It was a rule for playing with the big boys.”
  • “No one had ever attacked me at home before, not like this.  It should have been against the rules.  You should be safe in your own bed.  I know, I know.  Bad guys don’t have rules.  It’s one of the reasons they’re bad guys.”
  • “I wasn’t crying, my eyes were running.”
  • “Thou shall not attack the good guy in his, or her, own home.”
  • “Paranoia is just another word for longevity.”
  • “People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening.”
  • “…with most modern guns, wet doesn’t hurt them.  As long as you clean them afterwards.  Most guns will shoot underwater.”
  • “…the longer you stare at a gun, the more important it gets to be.  When you’re on the wrong end of it.”
  • “People make noise.  I don’t mean talking or belching or anything overt.  But people, as a rule, can’t just sit without making noise.  They fidget, the sound of cloth rubbing against the seats; they breathe, the soft intake of air; they wet their lips, wet, quiet, but noise.”
  • “…they are people.  Good, bad, or indifferent, they are alive, and no one has the right to just arbitrarily snuff them out…every human being is special.  Every death is a loss of something precious and irreplaceable…I am irreplaceable too…No one has the right to kill me, either.”
  • “The mildest of voices is often the worst threat.”
  • “There will always be victims…Predators and prey, it is the way of the world.”
  • “Never look back when the press are gaining on you.  They catch you if you do.”
  • “Hope is a lying bitch.”
  • “The room smelled like a mixture of slaughterhouse and outhouse.  Shit and blood.  The smell of fresh death, more often than not.”
  • “Cops have the weirdest sense of humor, because they have to.”
  • “The boredom was a mask. Cops always saw everything.  Occupational hazard.”
  • “For tension release laughter beats the hell out of tears.”
  • “If two people are equal in skill, size matters.  A good big person will always beat a good small person.”
  • “I always have this Houdini fantasy that this time I’ll have enough slack to wiggle free.  It never works that way.  Once you’re tied up, you stay tied up until someone lets you go.”
  • “Every junkie is willing to die for one more fix.”
  • “Friendship is strange stuff.”
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