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Wisdom of Anita Blake – Guilty Pleasures

April 8, 2013

So I’m in the middle of a nasty bout of insomnia.  I’m lucky if I’m getting a couple of hours a night.  So one of the things I’m doing is rereading the Anita Blake Series by Laurell Hamilton.  I’m also writing down her (Ms. Hamilton’s though Anita is generally the one who says them)  pithy sayings as I go, something I’ve threatened to do for years.  So here you go.  The first installment of

Wisdom of Anita Blake (and Company):  the Guilty Pleasures edition

  • “You don’t have to be undead to be evil.  But it helps.”
  • “Fear will bind you closer than love, or hate, and it works a hell of a lot quicker.”
  • “Sometimes the world is a worse place than I want to know about.”
  • “There have been times when I wish I could see around corners.  This was one of them.”
  • “I would have followed him anywhere as long as he went upstairs.”
  • “A gun in plain sight attracts attention, but most people leave you alone.  They often even start running clearing a path before you.  It makes chases very convenient.”
  • “It is a very natural human trait to destroy that which frightens us.”
  • “There is nothing like waking up the morning after a good beating.  It’s like a hangover that covers your entire body.”
  • “The hour after dawn is the most private of all.  It is a time to be alone and enjoy the silence.”
  • “Nothing like fear to wash your mind clean.”
  • “Everyone has their weaknesses.  Some people smoke.  I collect stuffed penguins.  If you won’t tell, I won’t.”
  • “…no woman can find anything in her purse in under twelve minutes.  It is a rule.”
  • “Compromise is an imperfect art.”
  • “It takes real breeding to make a person feel like shit with one word.”
  • “I shouldn’t have touched him; that was against the rules.  You never touch anyone in a fight unless you want violence.”
  • “Nothing is more appealing than a handsome man who is also uncertain of himself.  It appeals not only to the woman in us all, but the mother. ”
  • “Most people don’t react well to violence.  It freezes them.  There are a handful of seconds where the body hesitates, the mind doesn’t understand.  Those few seconds can get you killed.  The only way to kill the hesitation is practice.  Violence has to become part of your thinking.  It makes you cautious, suspicious as hell, and lengthens your life expectancy.”
  • “Most people will accept a likely lie to an unlikely truth.  In fact, they prefer it.”
  • “When in doubt, change your vocabulary.”
  • “I try not to be cruel, just persistent.  There are days when the difference is pretty damn slight.”
  • “Bars are sort of like vampires; they are at their best after dark.”
  • “You can’t save everybody.  In fact, there are days when I think you can’t save anyone.  Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help.”
  • ”No junky is trustworthy…”
  • “Crying was damned unfair in a fight.  Once a person started to cry, you couldn’t talk anymore.  You suddenly just wanted them to stop crying, stop making you feel like the biggest scum-bucket in the world.  Anything to stop the tears.”
  • “I hate to shop.  I consider it one of life’s necessary evils, like brussels sprouts and high-heeled shoes.”
  • “It’s easy to forget the passage of time in a mall.  It is air conditioned, climate controlled, a private world where nothing real touches you.  Disneyland for shopaholics.”
  • “If you are that nervous about [a] young man, then he is not the right one for you.  If he was, you wouldn’t be jittery.”
  • “When in doubt, take a deep breath and keep moving.”
  • “If I wear a pair of hose once without snagging them, I have had a very good day.”
  • “I don’t care how many times you’ve seen women carry guns on a thigh holster on television, it is damn awkward.  You walk like a duck with a wet diaper on.”
  • “Pity is an emotion that can get you killed.  The only thing more dangerous is blind hate, and maybe love.”
  • “Old age is enough of a reminder of what comes next.  No visual aids are needed.”
  • “Murphy’s law is the only true dependable in my life most of the time.”
  • “The only person I had to face in the mirror was me.  The only moral dilemma I could solve was my own.”
  • “Sometimes bravery and stupidity are almost interchangeable.”
  • “No good deed goes unpunished.”
  • “Truth was, most firefights were finished before the first eight shots were gone.  But there was always a first time.”
  • “There was always something fascinating about someone else’s death.”
  • “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.   Eleanor Roosevelt said that.”
  • “Friendships may fade, but there is always that obligation, that knowledge forged of terror and blood and shared violence, that never really leaves.”
  • “Everyone needs something to believe in.”
  • “Never criticize, unless you can do a better job.”
  • “Graves are for the living, not the dead.  It gives us something to concentrate on instead of the fact that our loved one is rotting under the ground.  The dead don’t care about pretty flowers and carved marble statues.”
2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jennie Knight permalink
    April 8, 2013 8:24 AM

    Thank for reminding me of these bits of wisdom. DH would say that the woman and her purse fits me to a T. I hope you don’t mind my posting it to my FB page with all due credit of course.


    • April 8, 2013 8:35 AM

      Are you crediting me or Ms. Hamilton? 🙂 I think one of my favorite quotes of hers is something along the lines of “good sex is messy”. No one ever tells you that. 🙂


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