I’ve been in a horrible mood the last couple of days. It all started early Thursday morning. I had a dream that was horribly wonderful. We had gotten back together with our ex’s who had a established some sort of compound of Pagans. The dream hit me on two fronts. One, we were back together with our ex’s and two, we were part of a community again. A community of like minded people to do things with, both spiritual and mundane. A place where I felt like I fit in and was a desired member. Needless to say waking up was painful…no OSO (other significant other) and no live community. So I’ve been rather depressed.
I didn’t sleep well Thursday night. My son started spring break on Friday. We drove down to Denver Friday evening to play tourist. So I spent that day getting the house ready and packing. So never made the time to do my daily devotional. Too sad. Too angry. But for we left, I had a total flaming temper tantrum over my son not getting his toys cleaned up (something that is an ongoing struggle with him for some reason). My lack and sleep and short temper got the better of me and…well let’s just call it a mothering fail.
Last night before bed, I did a meditation where I could do my daily devotional in honor of Aphrodite. I imagined a room that had a large statue of Aphrodite in her shell. A stream of ocean water came in on her left side washed over her shell and feet and back out to her right. The water would surge with what I guess where ocean waves. I offered my silver pendant to the well (setting it over a hook so that I didn’t loose it to the movement of the water). I lit Hestia’s fire by blowing a candle into light using Hestia’s flame that resides within me (see the wordage of my Daily devotional to understand what I mean). I then started praying to Aphrodite to help me be a better mother so that I could raise my son to be a good person without my temper traits. Next thing I know, I found myself floating on a large body of water. I got the impression that it was heavy on salt or something because I floated so easily (normally I sink like a rock). The longer I floated the better I felt. It was as whatever was in the water was leaching away my depression and anger. Once I felt normal again, I was back in the temple room where I felt/was told to close up and go to sleep. So I took Hestia’s flame back with in me (yeah I sucked it back down) and retrieved my pendant then went to bed. I felt amazingly better. Unfortunately I still had insomnia issues but otherwise I felt much better today.
Thanks be to Aphrodite.