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Facing doubts

February 10, 2013

As always when it comes to the Goddess in my life, I face doubts just as I face those doubts with the non-related women in my life.  “I don’t hear from xyz, is she mad?  I don’t think she likes me.  She only puts up with because of xyz. ”  Etc.  Lately I’ve been wondering if maybe I need to back gracefully away from the feminine divinities and seek Zeus out more fully/indepth/exclusively.  Dark Moon and Full Moon is when I try to honor this Goddess in my life but I have been inconsistent as of late due to said issues.   So I really felt like doing something on this night of the dark moon was important.  I’m glad I did.  I feel a tad bit better.

Meditation:  I found myself at my Hekate pillar that stands at a 3 way fenced/benched crossroads on a garden hillside that over looks the sea.  This pillar is not your typical pillar.  It shows the same female with three different emotions:  laughing, crying and angry.  Suddenly, it is as if one of the bodies has come to life.  “Tag you’re it” and off she runs laughing.  I give chase completely loosing her in some woods.  As I pause to catch my breath enough to hear movement to track by she comes up from behind me wrapping her arms around my upper half.  “Silly child,” she laughs turning me around kissing me on the forehead.  “None of your questions matter.  Only that you…” and off she runs, egging me to chase her again.  As I start after her again, I hear her murmur, “never mind our time here is up”.  I then see a flash of a male form and hear her squeal in laughter followed by a male tone.  End.

So many people see Hekate as a dark, serious, gloomy divinity.  For me, more often than not, she is full of light, joy and laughter.  It is no wonder I have a hard time connecting with the typical depiction of her…or why I question who she really is…yet she says it doesn’t matter to just follow the best I can.  I’m trying my Lady, I’m trying.


  1. Let go:  9 of Swords – fears, worries, doubts
  2. Keep:  Judgment – keep your faith in me
  3. To Come:  Knight of Cups – fellowship
  4. World and Me:  Heirophant – teacher and student
  5. Give:  2 of Wands – give yourself time, be not so critical
  6. Receive:  5 of Pentacles – solace
  7. Learn:  2 of Pentacles – not either or!  Do not go to extremes!

q = 43 = focus, will, make your choice!

b = Ace of Swords – battling self

This reminded me of the Zeusday divination:

  1. Me:  World/New Opportunites – beginning something anew, over the “hump”
  2. Theme:  10 of Swords/Disaster – liberate yourself and move on
    1. from what? 8 of Pentacles – housework?  The mundane
  3. Challenges:  Fool/Unknown –  “can’t say” “facing the unknown and moving forward despite the questions”, be optimistic
  4. Best Response:  Ace of Pentacles/Explore – do something new, use new methods
  5. Keep in Mind:  9 of Swords/Despair – watch out for depression, stay busy
  6. Final Thoughts:  Emperor/Motivation – work
    1. with? on? Page of Wands/Spirit Message – Spirit guide(s)
  7. Do:  7 of Swords/confrontation – face your issues
    1. clarifier:  Wheel of Fortune/Rebalance

q = 70 = 7 = Chariot/Act

b = seeking guidance

8 Comments leave one →
  1. February 11, 2013 2:26 AM

    It sounds as though concentrating on Zeus with intermittent work with Hekate is the way forward for you then.


    • February 11, 2013 9:20 PM

      Sorry you keep getting caught in my spam filter. Not sure exactly what my steps are moving forward but I know not to give up.


  2. February 11, 2013 3:14 AM

    It sounds as though you need to spend most of your time with Zeus and intermittent time with Hekate, and apparently she is not bothered by that!


    • February 11, 2013 10:59 AM

      Actually I think Zeus’ reading is about confronting my Lady and working through my issues. 🙂


  3. February 11, 2013 6:43 PM

    Ya know, sometimes spending more time with the Gods helps us women with our relation with the Goddesses we know. Gives us more perspective on things…


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