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Mommy Woes

August 27, 2012

My pretty much constant companion for the last 5.5 years has been my son.  Filled with love.  Filled with frustration.  Filled with weariness.

As of today, he is no longer my constant companion, my boon and my bane.  Today he is officially a kindergartner. As of today he will spend his the majority of his time with his pretty red-head teacher.  I hope she is worthy of his time.

As of today, my life revolves less around my child.  No longer are my days filled with ways to enrich and entertain him.  No longer will I have a demanding reason to get together several times a week with other mothers.  This, this is why women go for that second child I think.

As of today, my household is quiet for about 9 hours at a time.  There are times I look forward to that silence.  There are times that I fear that silence.  While he will not be here as often causing me to  pull my hair in frustration, neither will he be here to give me hugs and kisses which stave off the blues.  Some days in the past when I was recovering from relationship blues, it was only because of my son that I got out of bed.  There will be times in the future where I could really use the exuberant little boy hugs to get me through the day.  Like today.  In all the excitement of the day, I never got my quota of hugs needed to keep me going.  Woe is me.

As of today, my son begins to seriously grow under someone else’s instruction.  Today I feel he has officially left my realm of control.  It is exciting for him.  It is worrisome and terrifying and freeing for me.  I worry what will happen to him away from me.  I’m terrified that it will be something that I can’t fix or that he will grow so far away from me that I will not be needed.  Yet I am freed to work more on me…physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  It feels selfish.  I’m happy.  I’m sad.  I’m confused.  This makes homeschooling almost look good.

So here’s to the first day of the rest of my life…as the mother of a school attending child.  Am I still considered a stay-at-home-mother if my child is in school?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. ladyimbrium permalink
    August 27, 2012 8:52 AM

    I don’t see why not. And congratulations 🙂


  2. August 27, 2012 8:59 AM

    9 hours? Holy cow.

    Then again, (1) all of the places I went to public school only had half-day Kindergarten, and (2) my own little first-grader goes to school here in Chicago, which up until the upcoming year has been infamous for having the shortest school day anywhere in America, so his “full day” Kindergarten was less than six hours long.


  3. August 27, 2012 10:16 AM

    They do full day Kindergarten here. So between getting to school early via Dad and riding the bus home (which he was so THRILLED to get to do), it ends up being about 8 hours…I miscounted. Though Fridays they do start one hour later.

    I also did half-day for kindergarten. I just hope it doesn’t end up too much for my very active child.


  4. Teal Cuttlefish permalink
    August 28, 2012 6:21 PM

    You are certainly still a stay at home mom. You don’t stop being a mom when he goes to school; I didn’t stop being a mom when The Gothling turned 18 and moved out. The job changes, but it’s still your job.


    • August 28, 2012 6:37 PM

      good point. Now if I can go back to sleeping again, I’ll have the energy to do something with my time!


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