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A bad precedence for the day

October 14, 2011

A bad dream in the morning hours before I awake sets a bad tone for the day.  No matter how hard I try, can’t seem to shake it.  The dream was too close to real life.  I dreamed that my OSO (yeah the one I still lust after 5 years apart) told me that his wife says he can play with anyone…but me.  Head/desk annnnnd repeat.  I started to write him an email about it…several times.  I always ended up deleting it instead of sending it.  You see, I miss him.  Yet we have found that being “just friends” is too hard on both of us so we have slowly moved out of contact.  He’s always there if I have a question but the friendliest things now seems awkward and whiney.  Ain’t I a piece of work.

To make the day even better, my son is at the stage where everything has become a control issue with him.  Food, toys, clothes, play time, bed time, bath time, etc.  Even putting up Halloween decorations, normally something I love to do, has become a trial.  I find myself yelling, cussing and trying to resist the temptation to spank him for the smallest thing waaaaaay more than I would like.  Annnnnd Hubby left for a week of elk hunting.  I’d like to go spend some time at a lower elevation where it is warmer but I can’t reasonable go until my son starts behaving better.  It would be like a reward.  A reward that he SO does not deserve.

So there you have my day in a nutshell.  The only thing making it tolerable so far…the cinnamon rolls that Hubby made me before he left.  Yum.

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